Diaries I Read:
I have a bunch of unrelated things to talk about today.
To begin, this morning after my run I took Dixie out in the front yard. On our way back to the house, I noticed a strange, furry-looking object in the grass. As soon as I spotted it, Dixie made a bee-line for it and had it in her jaws. I shouted, �Drop it, Dixie!� and she just looked up at me out of the corner of her eye, locked her jaws around it, and trotted toward the house.
I didn�t want to try to pry it out of her mouth because I was pretty sure it was a dead mouse and I didn�t want to touch it. So I let her into the house with it in the hopes that she would drop it. She did, and I was able to see that it WAS in fact a dead mouse, but she had it in her mouth again before I could get to her.
So I put her out in the back yard. I didn�t want that thing in the house. But I also didn�t want her messing with it. Which was what she was doing, kinda chewing on it and playing with it. It was so sick.
I went out to the yard once and tried to get her away from it, but she was too quick for me. I waited a few minutes and then tried again. This time I was able to grab her by the back legs, pull her away from the mouse, and throw her butt into the house.
But then I had to do something with the mouse, or she�d just start messing with it again the second I let her back in the yard. So I got our dust pan and tried to scoop the mouse up into it. Ugh, this little mouse was so gross. I could see its little teeth and it was all soggy from being in the grass and probably being doused by the sprinklers all night. The dust pan wasn�t working, so I got a little gardening shovel to try to help scoop it up. I pushed it onto the dust pan, and it rolled off. I pushed it onto the dust pan again, and it rolled off again. And each time I moved it I could *feel* its gross sogginess. Finally, I got it onto the dust pan and tried to make my way to the trash can. I was trying not to look at it, and as I walked toward the trash can with my head turned the other way, it fell off the dust pan again. Squish. So I scooped it up again and finally got it into the trash can. Thud.
Ugh. It still gives me the heebie jeebies.
And THEN I was totally grossed out by Dixie. She�d been CHEWING on that dead soggy thing! And I was worried that she might get some sort of disease. So I took a wet towel and washed her face and even scrubbed at her teeth a little.
I started a new asthma medication last week. I�ve been on Advair for the past few years, and it�s been a miracle drug. I�ve never felt like I had my asthma under control like I have with Advair.
The only problem is that it�s still a fairly new drug, and my doctor had concerns about me taking it if and when I become pregnant. It hasn�t been shown to cause any problems, but it hasn�t been around enough for them to be sure. So he wanted me to try a different medication (one I took years ago) and see how it worked for me. If it works, great. If not, I can go back to the Advair, which will probably be fine, and we can say we tried.
So I�ve been on the new medication since last Wednesday with less than stellar results. I�ve had to use my �rescue inhaler� at least a couple of times every day since then, and I�ve been waking up in the middle of the night because I�m not breathing well.
According to the package, it can take up to two weeks to start working at its optimal level, and I figure my body is also adjusting from coming off the Advair, so I�m giving it a little time before I deem the new medication a failure.
I know all of this isn�t very interesting, but it�s leading me to a more interesting point.
So yesterday B and I were having lunch and I was telling him about the problems I�ve been having since starting the new medication. He was asking questions, and I asked him, �You know why I�m changing medications, right?� He said yes, that it was because we�re thinking about trying to get pregnant next year.
And then he says, �I think you should stop taking the Pill too.�
That took me by surprise, and I said, �Really?�
He said yes, and I told him I�d been planning on waiting until January.
But he said, �Why wait? Just stop taking it now. It takes a few months to get out of your system anyway.�
I said that I needed to wait and see how this new asthma medication went and see my allergist again. I also said I�d wait til after I see my Ob/gyn because I�m due to go in sometime in the next month anyway.
So. I think I�m ready to do this. It�s weird, but I think I�m ready to stop taking the pill and just see what happens.
And then we had a conversation about me getting pregnant and quitting my job, and B said, �What would you do then?� and I said �Nothing.� And we talked about the logistics of living on just his salary and we talked about how we could certainly do it if we cut back on a few things. In actuality, I don�t think I really want to do �nothing,� but it�s nice to know that not going back to work would at least be an option for us.
And we didn�t even talk about PL during this whole conversation. I think both of us are just thinking that what is supposed to be will be. If PL works, we�ll do it. If I get pregnant, we�ll do that too. I guess we�re ready to just deal with whatever comes our way.
After we had that conversation, I couldn�t get it out of my mind. All day long I was thinking about it, and for the first time I wasn�t terrified. For the first time, I�m not waffling back and forth between the options. It�s weird. It�s kind of exciting.
I told B that it might take a while to actually get pregnant. He says with confidence that his �boys will get through.� We�ll see.
I�ve been getting out and running in the mornings again. Last week I went every day, Monday through Friday. My neighbor Mark ran with me, which was nice. I also got in contact with a woman in my neighborhood who was looking for someone to run with, and she met up with us on Wednesday morning.
Get this. She�s four or five months pregnant with her FIFTH child! And she�s running every morning before 6:00! Now, that�s inspirational. She said she ran through both of her last pregnancies up until her eighth month. Impressive. I�m so glad to meet someone who�s actually run throughout her pregnancy. I�ve read about it and I know it�s possible and it�s something I always said I wanted to do, but I really wasn�t sure. Now I�ve seen it in action.
Unfortunately, the last three days we�ve missed her somehow. I don�t know where we�re going wrong because our paths should be crossing. We�ll try again tomorrow.
I thought I had more to say but it�s time to go now, so I�ll just post this. TTFN.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004