Diaries I Read:
Yes, I know the so-called links in my last entry don�t actually link to anything. From what I can tell, I did everything according to the instructions, so I don�t know what the problem is. Seriously, this whole web page thing really shouldn�t be this difficult, I am sure, because if it were really this difficult then every idiot and his brother wouldn�t have a web page. So what am I doing wrong? How do I get a cool-looking web page? How do I link to other pages? How do I make a cool background instead of the boring old generic diaryland style? Is there some kind of software I need? If I spend money on this software, will I be able to use it fairly easily? (Because I have Photoshop, and I can�t figure it out to save my life. Thankfully I didn�t pay for it.) Or can I do it without software? Do I really have to learn html? Because it�s really confusing and time-consuming. Please help. If you�re listening, please help me!
Anyway, I have had a frustrating afternoon. I�ve been very excited about B�s birthday and the secret trip to Santa Barbara I have planned for us. I�ve booked the hotel and made appointments for massages and bought a picnic basket and checked out restaurants online and looked into the wine country. I ordered him this fancy, expensive coffeemaker that our neighbors have that he drools over every time we�re over there. I�ve bought him a birthday card. Dixie and Hondo even bought him a gift and cards. I got the oil changed in my car and got my car washed for the drive. I�m doing everything I can to make this a fun, relaxing little trip for us.
So he calls me during lunch and tells me his mom is on the phone too. He says his mom wants to buy him a coffeemaker for his birthday and �is that OK?� Well, of course it�s not OK. And it�s not OK for him to put me on the spot like that! Because how am I supposed to answer that? If I say yes, he�ll end up with two coffeemakers, and if I say no, the whole surprise is ruined. But the fact that he�s even asking implies that the surprise is ruined anyway, so what the heck? I was so aggravated. I just CANNOT seem to surprise that boy. Oh well, at least he still doesn�t know where we�re going this weekend. Yet. And he also doesn�t know that I ordered a mint chip ice cream cake for him on Monday. So there.
I�m also frustrated because Dixie chewed up one of my new shoes last night. It was from a pair I bought just a month or so ago, and they were so cute and comfortable and I was really enjoying them. Ever since I bought a few pairs of new shoes (partly to replace other shoes she�d destroyed), I�ve been trying to be really careful with them and not let her get to them. I�ve been keeping my closet door closed so she has no access. Well, apparently yesterday morning I rushed out of the house and left my closet door open, and sure enough she chewed up one of my shoes. I was so FURIOUS last night when I discovered it that I didn�t know what to do with myself. It was kind of like a few months back when she chewed up a brand-new book I�d just bought. I was so angry I was shaking. I wanted to scream and cry and throw things and hit things. I had so much rage inside me but I was still composed enough that I couldn�t express it; I couldn�t find an �appropriate� way to react. I did scream a little and slap a baseball cap on the countertop (it made a really cool, loud noise) and throw the chewed-up shoe in Dixie�s vicinity (not AT her; I wasn�t mad enough to actually want to HURT her). B just kinda stood by and let me have my little fit and then said, �Are you finished now?� I said �NO!� and then vented a little bit more in the car on our way to our softball game. AGGGGGHHHH! (I�m still mad.)
So I guess it makes sense at this point to mention that we actually WON our softball game. For the first time this season! We�re now 1 and 6. We�re really not as bad of a team as our record suggests; we just haven�t been able to pull it together this season. I think we can do much better next season if we stick with it. It�s just taken a few games to work out all the bugs. Anyway, I�ve had a pretty good season so far despite my team. I really don�t know how to play softball, to tell you the truth � I just fake it most of the time. But I�ve been hitting really well � I�ve only struck out once. I�ve gotten thrown out at first a couple of times, but I usually get on base. That�s because I�m FAST. I really am. I can brag about being fast because I�m so mediocre at everything else softball-related. But I can run. I think it surprises a lot of the other teams � they see a girl come up to bat and they think they have all the time in the world to get the ball to first, but then in a flash, I�m there, safe at first. HA! My team has started calling me �Flash.� I like it.
Except every time I was running the bases last night, my stomach would start to hurt. That�s because I snuck a big handful of giant chocolate chips before we left for the game. That�s because, as I established yesterday, I have no self control. It�s been so bad lately that I REALLY didn�t want to weigh myself today as planned. But a co-worker talked me into it, and I guess I�m glad I did, because I�ve lost half a pound. Yeah, it�s only half, but it�s better than nothing. And it�s better than gaining, which has been my trend lately. Still, this weekend�s gonna be hard because of the trip and because I�m going to eat and enjoy myself. But I�ll have all of next week to be really good again. What I really need to do is get back out there and run. Next week. Next week will be a good week.
And now back to issues with Dixie. In addition to chewing up shoes, she continues to have so-called �accidents� in the house. Except they�re really more �on purposes� than �accidents� because she means to do it. It�s not like she pees out of fear and goes, �Oops, sorry!� She does it on purpose. When she has to go, she goes, whether she�s inside or outside. And it�s apparent that she knows it�s �bad� since she doesn�t do it right in front of us but rather sneaks off to do it elsewhere. There�s no particular spot she prefers; she�ll go just about anywhere. And it�s not just #1, it�s #2 too. We almost prefer #2 since it�s easier to clean up. But truthfully, this is getting out of hand. She�s going on two years old, and she�s much too old for this. It�s not like she�s a stupid dog, either. She�s done very well with her obedience training, and she�s generally not destructive. (Yes, I know I just finished a story about her destroying a shoe, but that�s nothing compared to my co-worker, whose Golden Retriever chewed a giant hole IN HER COUCH! I mean, it�s *just* a shoe � apparently it cold be much worse.)
Anyway, we�re thinking of having a dog trainer come to the house to work with Dixie. B talked to this woman on the phone, who said Dixie is obviously �confused,� and she seems to think she can help. Please, please, please let this lady be able to help. We�ve tried everything, from crating her to yelling at her to spanking her to rubbing her nose in it. We�re all out of ideas.
Did I tell you already that we went out to dinner this week with �Nurse Donna,� the trauma nurse who we met on our honeymoon and who was the first nurse to see B in the emergency room? Well, we did. We met her and her husband and enjoyed a nice dinner together. They�re really nice people and I think we�ll remain friends. Anyway, on top of the crazy coincidence of B being treated by someone we�d met over a year ago while on vacation, but Donna also suffered an injury very similar to B�s, so she has lots of insight about what he�s going through. But guess how she hurt herself � she was trying to lift a 300-pound patient, who was in cardiac arrest, off of a toilet. She put too much strain on her spine and she actually BROKE her neck! She said she felt something snap and then she passed out � on top of the patient � who ended up dying. Can you believe it? Crazy story. Anyway, she also herniated a disk (the one below the one B herniated) and had the same surgery as him. She actually still has some numbness and tingling in her fingers and certain spots on her arms, but she says she hardly even notices it now.
But what I really want to say about all this is that several times during the evening, Donna turned to me and said, in a hushed voice, �B really looks GREAT. I mean, he�s doing REALLY well.� She said it enough, and with such sincerity and awe, that I think she really meant it, that it wasn�t just something nice to say. And that was coming from a nurse, who is familiar with patients� recoveries, not to mention a nurse who has been through a similar experience. So there you go. B�s doing really well.
OK, that�s it from me for now. If you have any ideas about the whole page design thing, let me know. Please.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004