Diaries I Read:
Since I signed up for my Supergold membership, I�ve realized how little I know about computers. All of a sudden I have all of these resources available, like placing banner ads and adding images and changing the look of my page, and I don�t know how to do any of it. Just that one little picture of Dixie a couple of entries ago took me about six tries. First it was HUGE, then it was small, then it was blurry, and it�s still off-center. (Although I think I�ve figured out how to center it now. I�ll have to give that a try when I�m finished writing.) It has taken me all week long to design a banner that was halfway decent (actually, I think it�s pretty cool, and apparently several people have already clicked through on it!). And I�ve spent several hours going over html tutorials and flipping through the Photoshop User Guide trying to figure out how to make my page look more interesting. So once I figure all of that out, I�ll have this really cool page with really old entries on it. Hee.
Oh yeah, I formed a diaryring called �realwomen.� You should join it. I think I�m the only member right now! (See that? Did it work? I�ve learned how to link!!)
Anyway, what do I have to say today? Lots of things, I guess. Let�s start with the weekend. I�ll try to go fast.
Friday night we saw �Mean Girls� because there was nothing else of interest playing, and it was actually pretty good. If you don�t see it in the theatre, rent it when it comes out because it�s fun and it will make you laugh. Then we went out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant that was OK. Then we went to Baskin Robbins and got hot fudge sundaes. Yum.
Saturday B and I went looking at hardwood flooring again (we�re going to put it in all of the downstairs � yay! � no more yucky carpet!) and checked out a couple of furniture stores, too. While driving around, I found myself thinking about Memorial Day and the fact that my granddad wasn't here anymore and didn't get to see the World War II memorial they dedicated this weekend, and it made me sad. I cried a little bit behind my sunglasses in the car there next to B. He didn't know. I hoped that someone put flowers or a flag on his grave this weekend. I still miss him.
Then I talked B into going into Ann Taylor Loft (my favorite store at the moment) with me because it was right there, and I had all of these $25 off a $50 purchase coupons that I just HAD to use. I found a bunch of really great clothes and even though they weren�t cheap by any means, I didn�t feel that guilty about buying them because they were basically half-price. There was one pair of pants that I really wanted but they didn�t have them in my size, so they called another store and put them on hold there.
That night we went to a friend�s new house for dinner with her husband and their 15-month-old son. We ate and drank wine and went for a walk and played Taboo and watched the baby dance to Peanut Butter Jelly Time, which was hilarious. It was a good time.
On Sunday, I slept in, went to church, then headed out to the other Ann Taylor Loft store, where I ran into trouble. They had the brown pants that I�d put on hold, but they also had a ton of cute stuff I hadn�t seen at the other store. So in addition to the brown pants, I found another pair of pants, a matching top, a denim jacket, and a dress. I *needed* the brown pants and denim jacket, but the other things were just too cute and looked so great on me that I couldn�t resist, even though I wanted to (sort of). And I only had two of my coupons left, so this stuff wasn�t �half-price.� After much debate, I decided to buy it all and then if worst came to worst, depending on B�s reaction, take some of it back. He was in a good mood when I got home and didn�t freak out, although he did ask where I thought �all of this money� was coming from. I shrugged and went to put on my really cute new pink dress, which looks awesome on me, and he couldn�t very well be upset with me when I looked so great, right? However, I think I�ve used up all my shopping privileges for the rest of the summer, at the very least.
On Sunday evening, we went over to our neighbors� house and I held their baby and asked B if we could have one, to which he now answers �no� because of our European vacation we�re planning for next spring (and it IS kind of nice to have a tentative timeline and a *real* reason to wait; before I thought we�d start trying around my birthday in January but I guess it wouldn�t be much fun to be pregnant while trying to travel, so we�ll wait til after the trip). We also BBQ�d and drank strawberry daiquiris and watched �Gothica� on Pay Per View, which had a few scary moments and held my attention but really didn�t make much sense when you really thought about the plot.
On Monday, I got a few things done around the house and then we headed to the pool. I put sunscreen all over my face, chest, stomach, and arms. For some reason, I was under the impression that I would only sunburn from the waist up and neglected to put sunscreen on my legs. I ended up with a nice burn, a lovely shade of fuchsia. Not to mention that my bikini top is connected in the middle by a ring, through which my bare flesh shows and in the center of which I did not put sunscreen. I now have a bright red dot sunburned into the center of my chest. It literally looks like a third nipple. And finally, I wasn�t careful enough when applying the sunscreen to my upper half because I ended up with a big red splotch of sunburn on my right armpit/shoulder/chest area, right where it�s really uncomfortable to have a bra or purse strap. I do this to myself at least once every year � it�s like I have to burn terribly before I rediscover my whiteness and remember the importance of sunscreen. You�d think that after 28 summers I would have learned.
B had made plans for us to go over to a friend�s house at 3:00 for a BBQ. (I have to insert here that I was annoyed about these plans. Last week, he was on the phone with said friend and comes downstairs, still holding the phone to his ear, and asks, �Hey, wanna go to D�s house on Monday for a BBQ?� I�m sitting there thinking about how I really don�t want to go to D�s house because, even though they�re really great people, I don�t have that much in common with them and usually it wouldn�t be a big deal to go over there but that would be the last day of our three-day weekend and I could think of several other things I�d rather do. But with B standing there holding the phone of which D himself is on the other line, what am I supposed to say? So I replied, �I � guess so.� See, B learned a couple of years ago not to make commitments for the two of us � or commitments for himself that would affect me � without talking to me about it first. So he was trying to be a good husband and check to make sure it was OK with me. But he�s done this a couple of times, where he checks with me right in front of the other person. What am I supposed to say? It has made for some awkward moments in the past. So I said to him, �You know you don�t give me much choice when you do that.� Which might be exactly his intention, now that I think about it.) So anyway, we had to go over to this friend�s house at 3:00 in the afternoon, which felt like it was right smack in the middle of the day, and I had to cut my pool time short by a couple of hours (for which, in hindsight, my poor skin is probably thanking me). It was OK. Like I said, they�re really nice people, and we ate good food, including chocolate-dipped strawberries and chocolate-dipped rice krispie treats.
And that was the weekend. I discovered one thing about myself that you may have picked up on if you read between the lines. I have absolutely no self control. Did you hear what I ate and drank this weekend? Ice cream sundaes, beer, daiquiris, chocolate-covered rice krispie treats???!!? Does this sound like the diet of a WW online subscriber? I know, it�s terrible. It�s like once I let go and let myself eat just a little bit, I lose all control and just gorge. I have no idea how much I weigh. Last time I looked, I�m still up five pounds from my lowest weight. That means I�ve still lost over nine pounds, and I think I look OK, but it�s just depressing to find out that I have no will power. I was doing so well there for a while! And I keep telling myself that I�m going to get back on track, and I do, for a while. But then last night we went out for sushi, and even though that�s fairly healthy, I still ate way too much. It was just so good! And today I did something very out of character, because I�m generally really good at work � I ate a big sandwich that they had catered in, even though I�d brought my own, healthy 3-point lunch with me from home. And on top of that, I gave in and ate a giant cookie that also came from the catering company. And it wasn�t even that good! Why did I do that? The only way I can make up for that is by eating nothing but vegetables for the rest of the day. I guess I can do that. Bleh.
And on top of my horrendous diet, after being really good about running consistently and going to the gym during lunch, I haven�t run for almost two weeks and I haven�t been to the gym all this week. I�m going tomorrow, though, because I have to weigh myself. I couldn�t face it this week and changed my weigh-in day to Friday, which I think will be better in the long run. I dread seeing how much I weigh. I don�t care if I haven�t lost any weight � I�m not expecting to � but I just pray I haven�t gained any more. There are few things more discouraging. I�ve GOT to get myself back on the program!
I think I need to stop writing now because this has turned into a long, meandering entry that I�m afraid nobody will find very interesting. Later.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004