Diaries I Read:
There�s a little day spa right across from my office that was offering one-hour massages for just $39, so I signed B and myself up to get a massage after work last night.
The massage was pretty good � there�s no such thing as a bad massage � and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Afterward, my masseuse told me that I was the least tense person she�d ever worked on. She said she didn�t find any tight spots and that I was very relaxed. She said that was a great thing, that I must not have very much stress in my life, and that I must not be a �worrier.�
Interestingly enough, my first reaction to those comments was negative. I thought, �What do you mean I�m not stressed?! I have plenty to worry about. I�m as tense as anyone out there!� Suddenly I felt myself becoming defensive.
Of course, I didn�t voice any of these reactions because they were all being so positive about it there at the day spa. They acted like unstressed was a wonderful thing to be.
Thinking about all of this afterward, I find my reaction very interesting. Why did I feel like I needed to defend myself for not being stressed out? Why is it that we wear our stress and tension like some sort of badge? Like it�s something to be proud of?
Seriously, I think our society tells us that the more overworked, exhausted, sick, tense, frazzled, and stressed we are, the more successful we are somehow. It means that we matter. It justifies our existence. Like if you�re not stressed out, you�re not working hard enough. Really, when this masseuse was telling me how relaxed I was, what I heard was, �Wow, you�re just so lazy! You must not do anything all day long. I can tell you�re a spoiled, pampered little princess with nothing to worry your pretty little head over.�
But that�s not what she was saying. And now after thinking about it, I�m not going to interpret it that way. I�m going to take it as a compliment: I am well adjusted, healthy, and happy. I have my life under control. I have a positive attitude and I am satisfied with my day.
And thinking even further about it, I can�t stand people that thrive off of chaos. People who need drama in their life make me crazy. Those are the people that stir things up wherever they go, whipping everyone around them into a frenzy. They make a big deal out of small things. They love to be the victim. The world is a crazy place that has turned against them, and it is their personal responsibility � and curse � to make things right.
They have headaches, acid reflux, dizziness, and nausea. They have many doctors and take many prescriptions. They use all of their sick days. They go to the chiropractor for adjustments and physical therapy for their carpal tunnel syndrome. Their lives are difficult and their duties are daunting. They always have too much to do and not enough time to do it. They like to spend their time talking about how much they have to do instead of actually doing it.
These people are more important than you and me. When they say, �Oh my gosh, I have so much to do,� they�re really saying, �Oh my gosh, I am so important.� When they come dragging butt into the office, they�re waiting for you to say, �You look tired. Are you OK?� But what you�re really saying is, �You look tired. You must be very important.� When they call in sick or come into work with a very intentional cough, they just KNOW everyone around them is thinking, �Poor thing. She�s so important and she just works herself to death. She really deserves a day off.�
They are proud when the masseuse exclaims, �Wow, you�re so tense. You need to relax more.� They reply, with the back of their hand to their forehead, �I know. I�m just one of those people who doesn�t know HOW to relax. Sigh.�
In truth, these people aren�t really all that busy. In fact, they often have no life at all, and that�s why they have to turn minor things into huge dramas. They invent problems so they can enjoy the sympathy they receive for having them and the glory they receive for �overcoming� them. They revel in attention, especially negative attention since it gives them one more thing to complain about.
Just take a chill pill, man.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004