Diaries I Read:
This Sunday is B�s and my first wedding anniversary. Maybe this sounds silly, but it seems like a really big deal to me.
Not because I think it�s some great accomplishment or anything. Heck, this has been the greatest year of my life. Some people have told me that the first year is difficult. I think it�s been the easiest, most natural thing in the world.
I can�t believe it�s been a whole year. Again, this sounds trite, but time really does fly.
I can picture almost every moment of that day. I can close my eyes and be back there. The whole thing was so wonderful and so perfect.
For a while after we got married, I wanted to do the wedding over again. Not because I wanted to change anything; just because it was so much fun, I wanted to do it again. You know, like after you get off the best, most exciting ride at Magic Mountain and you get out of the car and say, �Let�s do it again!� Like that.
So for a little while I was sorry it was over. But I�m not sorry anymore. As special and wonderful and perfect that day was, it doesn�t compare with the past year.
Of course, not every day of the last year was exciting and fun, or even particularly good. But every day of this past year I had someone that I love more than anything else by my side. Even if he wasn�t physically there, he was still there. We have a different connection somehow. I don�t know what it is about saying the vows and exchanging the rings, but it changes the undertone of your relationship. In a good way. It gives me a certain, constant feeling of � I don�t know � peace.
I was thinking about it as I drove home in the car yesterday, and the best thing I can come up with to compare B to is � the sun. I know it sounds cheesy and totally clich�, but I don�t care. It�s my clich�. This is why he�s like the sun:
You know how you feel when you�re sitting outside and the sun is falling across, say, your arm? It�s usually pleasant, warm, comfortable. That�s how it feels when B is by my side. I feel safe, warm, happy, comfortable. And even when I�m inside sitting at my cubicle and I can�t see the sun at all? Well, I know it�s still out there. There�s no doubt in my mind that if I get up and walk to a window, there it will be. And let�s say it was a cloudy day, and you couldn�t see the sun. You know it�s still there. You�re not like, �Oh no, the sun is gone forever.� You know it�s there. And you know how sometimes you look outside, or step outside, and the sun is shining and it�s just a beautiful day, and it makes you feel like really going out and living? That�s how B makes me feel. He makes me feel alive. And of course there are those moments when you can totally relish the sun and soak it all up and it�s strong and bright and almost overwhelming. Well, B�s like that sometimes too. So that�s why he�s like the sun. He is my sunshine.
Congratulations to us. Here�s to the best year of my life � so far.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004