Diaries I Read:
I really wrote this on July 10 but never finished it. So I guess I'll just post it and finish later...
I�m bummed out now and I can�t work. I have two and a half more hours to go, but I honestly cannot get myself to do anything work-related.
I know I�m overreacting a bit, but here�s what happened. I�ve been working on this new customer newsletter for about a month now. It�s been really slow-going because I depend on all these other people to supply me with the information I need to write the stories. I think I�ve said before that it�s also very difficult for me because I have a very limited understanding of the technology I�m writing about.
So anyways, I�ve finally put together some drafts of the stories, and I worked really hard on them. I knew there might be some revisions to be made to the more technological stuff, but basically the articles were written and written well. So, one of the guys came by yesterday and gave me a couple of revisions to make � nothing major, just the technical stuff that I had been unsure of in the first place. Then, today this manager, who had helped the other guy with the revisions, comes up to me and asks if I had made the changes. I said yes and indicated that I thought they were really good suggestions. Then, he kinda wrinkles up his nose and says, �I still think it should be�BETTER.�
I asked him what he meant and he fumbled around a little, not because he was trying to be polite as he gave me criticism but simply because he didn�t know. I said, �What don�t you like about it?� and he�s like, �I don�t know; I can�t put my finger on it� and kept screwing up his face like he�d drunk from an expired milk carton. Basically he was saying that it wasn�t good.
Here�s the thing. I don�t think he knows what he�s talking about. I mean, it�s not Pulitzer Prize-winning writing � it�s for a company newsletter, for gosh sakes � but it�s well done. If he had any real criticism to give me, I�d take it. But when he just sits there making faces, I can�t do much but blow him off. But he�s not a jerk or anything. Actually, I think he�s a pretty sweet man, and I think he means well. If he were a butthead, I�d brush it off as him being a butthead. But I think he really just thought it wasn�t good.
I just don�t get it. He even went so far as to ask if we had any technical writers who should be writing these stories! This is my job! This is what I was hired for! I am a writer! I have a Master�s Degree in English. I have never � and I really mean never � written anything that somebody said wasn�t good. They may not have said it was excellent, but nobody has ever screwed up their face about it.
So that�s why I�m bummed. I�m just so discouraged. I�ve been working my butt off on this stuff and, just like that, he totally deflates me. I know I shouldn�t let it get to me, especially when I KNOW that I did a good job. But it makes me feel unsure of myself. It makes me doubt myself. I hate that.
I just want to go home. I�m so tired. I don�t want to work anymore. This week has been so busy. I haven�t had any time to myself. At least it�s gone by quickly, though. I can�t believe it�s already Thursday! Last week, my manager decided to let us go on a 9/80 schedule, which means we work an hour extra every day and then we get every other Friday off. I am very excited! The only bad thing is actually having to work the extra hour every day. Now I have to get here by 7:30 every morning � aghh! It was hard enough for me to get here by 8:00! Oh well, I think it will be worth it. Two Fridays off every month! You can�t beat that, really.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004