Diaries I Read:
OK, here�s the situation, the �project� I�ve alluded to a couple of times.
B and I are thinking of starting a business. Buying a franchise, to be more precise.
It all started a couple of months ago when I had a flash of inspiration: I should open a scrapbooking store. We live in a very suburban neighborhood filled with stay-at-home moms who love things like Tupperware parties, play dates, and of course scrapbooking. And there isn�t a scrapbooking store in our immediate vicinity, so I figured it would be a gold mine.
To my surprise, B actually thought that this sounded like a fantastic idea. We�d been trying to come up with business ideas, but we hadn�t yet come up with anything that I got really excited about. And for the amount of work running a business would be, it had to be something that inspired me.
So B started checking around, asking questions, knocking some ideas around. And the more we talked about it and I thought about it, the more I realized how very, very difficult opening this type of store would be. I mean, I don�t know anything about running a business. I know a lot about scrapbooking, but I�ve never worked in a scrapbooking store or anything. There would be so much inventory, so much to keep track of, and it started to get overwhelming.
During B�s scrapbooking research, he came across the idea of franchises. At first he thought maybe there was a scrapbooking franchise we could get into, which, if they had a good business model to follow, would take away some of the mystery of running the store. Somehow, he found a guy whose job it is to research and match people up with a franchise, and then the company pays him once he finds suitable people to open up a store. B started talking to him, and he seemed like he really knew what he was doing.
The three of us had a phone conversation, and he picked my brain to try to figure out what type of business would be right for me (I say me because it�s really going to be me running the show). He said he�d look into scrapbooking franchises, but he also wanted to see if there were any other types of businesses that I�d be interested in.
A few days later, he came back with three business ideas for us: a juice shop, a tutoring center, and a Mail Boxes Etc.-type store. Frankly, none of these sounded too thrilling to me.
Then, he forwarded us another idea � a party supply store. This was more like it. They sell balloons, plates, napkins, decorations, Hallmark cards, wrapping paper, party favors, pi�atas, etc. And scrapbooking supplies. That sounded like fun to me. That sounded like the type of place I wouldn�t mind going to every day.
Anyway, since then, things have been moving forward. Quickly. We�ve met with the franchise guy and discussed the business quite thoroughly, from his perspective and experience. We�ve had a conference call with the party store people. We�ve received all of the legal documents, contracts, paperwork, etc. We had a meeting with our accountant to discuss the financial aspects, both our funding of the business and the financial status of the party store at the corporate level. B has called around to different shopping centers in our area to find out about leases and property availability. B has called several other people who own franchises of this party store and has spoken to them about their experiences.
And yesterday we made our plane reservations to fly to Pennsylvania for a �Discovery Day� at the corporate headquarters, where we�ll discuss the business in closer detail. They�ll definitely be trying to sell themselves to us. At the same time, though, we have to convince them that we�re the right type of people to open one of their stores, if we decide to move ahead with this.
After the trip to Pennsylvania, we can sign a contract that will get the ball rolling. We�ll pay them half of the franchise fee and begin selecting a site for our store and negotiating a lease. We have 90 days to sign on our location; if we can�t or don�t do it within this time period we can get our money back. If we do find a location that both parties agree upon, then we pay the rest of the franchise fee and the process of actually opening the store begins.
This means a lot more money invested to set up the store and buy inventory, computer equipment, cash registers, a delivery van, etc. It also means another trip to Pennsylvania for a week-long, intensive training program.
If everything moves along well, we could have the store up and running within 60 days of signing the initial paperwork.
So. That�s the situation. Now, if I can only explain how I feel about this.
Mostly I feel excited about it. For some reason, the idea of running this type of business is exciting to me. The products seem like fun, and I think the store could be successful in the area where we live. It�s the kind of thing that gets my mind going and I�ve already come up with some good ideas about promotions and stuff. I feel like I could use some of my creativity with this business. The business model and computer systems take a lot of the guess work out of running the business, which makes me feel confident that I could pull it off. B is totally in it with me, even though he�ll be keeping his job and I�ll be taking care of most of the everyday work at the store.
I love the idea of owning and operating our own business. I love the idea of being my own boss, being in charge, running things the way I want to run them, not having to answer to anybody or play the stupid political games at work. I love that the store�s success will be my success � that will be motivating to me. That will make me feel like the time and energy I spend there will actually be worth something at the end of the day.
But I�m also scared to death. I�m afraid that it�s going to be a lot more work than I ever imagined, that I�ll hate managing people, that dealing with the public will be a big pain in the butt, that the store won�t make any money, that the high price of leasing property in Orange County will be prohibitive, that I�ll be constantly thinking about work, that I won�t be good at running the business, that B and I will have no time for ourselves, that the business will put a strain on our relationship, that I�ll feel like I don�t have the time to think about starting a family, that the store will be a bomb and we�ll lose everything.
Now, I don�t really believe that those all of those things are going to happen. If I did, I wouldn�t still be thinking about this. But they are fears, and they are somewhat legitimate. On top of that, I�m also stressing about the idea of leaving this job, which is a good job (but not one I want to do for the rest of my life) and breaking the news to my boss, who�s been really good to me. It�s silly to be worrying about that at this point, though, because the most we�ve invested in this so far is $100 to our accountant, the price of two plane tickets, and a lot of time. But it still weighs on my mind. And it�s hard to feel completely *here* while I�m working at this job because in the back of my mind is the thought that I won�t be here for very long. I can�t think like that, though, because this could all fall apart tomorrow for all I know.
Here�s my biggest � and realistic, I believe � fear. One of the primary reasons B and I have been trying to come up with a business idea is so I can get out of the 9-to-5 (well, 8-to-5, actually) corporate world where I�m stuck in a cubicle all day. Not only because this lifestyle drives me crazy, but because within the next year or so we want to start trying to get pregnant. I do not want to have a job like this when I have children. I won�t. I don�t like this enough to leave my child all day, every day. But I�m afraid that running my own business will demand even more of my time and put even more limits on my flexibility than my job now. I�m afraid that there will be so much work to do, so much to oversee, that I�ll find myself working 60 hours a week or more. That�s going in the wrong direction.
I realize that it will be A LOT of work at the very beginning � maybe even for the first year. I know that I probably will end up putting in more than 40 hours a week at first. What I�m hoping, though, is that it will be something I enjoy, something that I�m excited about, and that I won�t mind spending a few extra hours there because it will be MY business and MY success at the end of the day.
See, I�m not afraid of hard work. The funny thing, however, is that if you knew me over the past three years or so, you�d think I was lazy and just didn�t want to work hard. It appears that way because, with the jobs I�ve had, I�ve had nothing to strive for. I�m not trying to climb the corporate ladder, I�m not learning anything new, I�m not challenging myself with things that inspire me to do my best, and at the end of the day, it all feels like a colossal waste of time. The hours I spend here do not have a point beyond the paycheck they earn me every two weeks.
And that is not how I want to live. That is not the type of person I am. I�m the kind of person who always went above and beyond to be the best at everything I did. I wasn�t satisfied with less than an A in school. I wasn�t happy unless I was the class president, the team captain, the project leader. I like that person. I don�t like this do-the-least-amount-of-work-you-can-get-away-with-because-it-really-doesn�t-matter person that I�ve become. I don�t like being satisfied with mediocrity. And at the end of the day, I need to walk away knowing that I�ve accomplished something worthwhile.
Still, I don�t want to work seven days a week. I don�t want to spend my life blowing up balloons and doing payroll. I don�t want to feel like I can�t take a vacation.
I guess that�s the point, though. The idea is that, even if it�s a whole lot of hard work up front, eventually (hopefully sooner than later) it won�t be so much work. Eventually we�ll have a handful of employees we can count on to keep things running when we�re not there. Eventually I�ll be able to monitor the store from my computer at home. And eventually the store will be profitable enough that B can quit his job and running the business will be his primary responsibility. And I can stay involved or take a step back as we start our family. Eventually we�ll open additional stores and just sit back and watch the money pour in.
That�s the idea. That�s the dream.
So that�s what we�re thinking, planning. We both really want this to happen. But it�s a big investment, and it�s a big commitment, so we�re going to make sure this is really really the RIGHT thing for us before we do it. We both have to be 110% positive that this is the way to go. Because if it�s not, it could be really miserable.
It�s so exciting. I�m really anxious to get to Pennsylvania and feel this thing out some more. We�re going in less than two weeks. I�m anxious to get all the answers we want to hear and just go for it. But I have to hold myself back, make sure I�m not just hearing what I want to hear, be patient and trust that it will happen if it�s the right thing.
We�re so invested in this thing, in a way. I mean, we�ve done a lot of thinking and talking and researching. But at the same time we�re not invested at all � we could walk away from it at any time. Or it could be pulled out from under us at any time. If this doesn�t work out, we�re going to keep looking and find something else that interests and excites us. But right now, I really want it to work out.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004