Diaries I Read:
This is what ran through my head as I got up bright and early this morning and went for my four-mile run.
(Alarm clock sounds. I press snooze. Seven minutes later, alarm clock sounds again.)
Oh man, I�m really tired. Really tired this morning. Can�t get up. Have to get up. Promised myself I�d run every day this week, Monday through Thursday, take Friday off. But I�m really tired this morning. Today is going to be a long day. I can take today off instead and run tomorrow. Yeah, today I deserve to sleep in because I have to finish my book and go to Book Club and race to my 8:50 softball game; it�s going to be a long day and a late night. I shouldn�t tire myself out. I�ll just sleep in today. I need my sleep this morning. But tomorrow morning I�ll be tired too. Maybe even more tired. I should get up. It won�t be that bad. It felt good to be out there the other times.
(I get out of bed, go to the bathroom to put on my running clothes. I hear water outside.)
Is that the sprinklers? Or is it raining? If it�s raining, I can�t run. I�d have to go back to bed. But I�m already up�
(I peek through the blinds. No rain. Sprinklers.)
Man, it�s cold. I�m cold. It looks cold outside. But it won�t be cold once I get out there and start running. The last few days I�ve even taken off my shirt and run in my sports bra. I�m so dedicated. I�m a stud for getting up so early. For four days in a row. I�m glad I got up. Man, I�m stiff. My shoulders hurt. Whenever I do this stretch my hip pops. That�s cool.
Yeah, it�s kind of cold out here. But I�ll warm up. Better than running when it�s too hot. This running in the morning thing is pretty good. I wonder how long I�ll be able to keep it up. I will keep it up. Every day. For the rest of my life. For the rest of my life? That�s an exhausting thought. I get to walk until I get to the top of this little hill, then I have to start running. That�s always when I start running. I need my warm-up. Dang, I�m at the top of the hill. Run. Oh, this isn�t so bad. I think I feel better than I did yesterday. Should I run three or four miles? I took a little longer getting up and ready; do I have time for four? Yeah, I�ll just do three. But three is so wimpy. And if I run four, then I don�t have to do that long, crappy hill at the end. The four-mile route is better. I�ll do four. Or I can just decide when I get to that stoplight. No, better decide now. I�ll do four. I like that the beginning of this run is downhill. Helps me get started. I don�t do well starting off uphill; that tires me out from the very beginning. There�s a guy running across the street. I haven�t seen him out here before.
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
I wasn�t gonna say good morning because he was too far away. But he said it first. That was nice. People who run in the morning are nice. He was kind of old. I wonder where he lives. Now it starts that gradual incline. I hate gradual inclines. There�s a girl running toward me. Is that the same girl who was running with the man with no shirt the other morning?
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
When I get to the top of this street and over the bridge, it�s downhill for a while. I like that the easy part of this run comes first. Then that one hard part, but then it�s easy again. Wait, then it�s uphill again at the very end. It�s cool out here, but I�m not cold anymore. Cold is definitely better than hot. This is the perfect time of day, won�t ever be hot this early in the morning. I wonder if it gets hot this early in Texas? You just can�t run in June in Texas, I bet. It�s too hot, probably all the time. You�d have to get up way too early. We�re so spoiled here. I love that I live here with this weather.
(Song runs through my head.)
�Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Save a horse, ride a cowboy.� Why is that song in my head again? It was in my head on Monday, too. Then on Tuesday it was that Avril Lavigne song, the one where she screams �I�m with YOOOOOOU-HOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO, I�m with YOOOOOOU-HOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO.� Avril Lavigne kind of bugs me. I wish she�d push her hair out of her face. �I saddle up my horse and I ride into the city, and I make a lot of noise cuz the girls they are so pretty. And the girls say, �Save a horse, ride a cowboy.�� Ugh, that song. Then yesterday the song in my head was Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. Because it was drizzling a little bit. It was drizzling almost every day this week. But not today. Funny since I thought it was raining when I first got up, and it�s not. �Riding up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy, and the girls say, �Save a horse, ride a cowboy��Everybody says, �Save a horse, ride a cowboy.�� What other song could I sing? That one�s getting so annoying. I don�t even like that song. B doesn�t either.
There�s the couple that walks the two dachshunds in the morning. I wonder why one�s on a leash but the other�s not. Probably one is well-behaved and trustworthy and the other isn�t. Like Dixie. I�d be afraid to walk Dixie off a leash. Afraid she�d run into traffic and get hit. I don�t like dachshunds. My friend in elementary school had that one that bit me. That dog was named Hildy. What an ugly name. I didn�t like that dog. I don�t like dachshunds. �Save a horse�� Agh, got to think of another song. �I�m with YOOOOOOU-HOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO.� That�s the song those ballerinas were dancing to on TV the other night. What channel WAS that? They weren�t real ballerinas. It looked like a junior college dance troupe or something. They weren�t good. And then there was that one fat girl. That�s mean. It�s good she was dancing, good she felt comfortable dancing on a stage even though she�s fat. That�s mean. But she WAS fat. There�s the lady with the two dogs, one yellow, one black. What kind of dogs are they? Labs?
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
The yellow one looked at me as I ran by. His owner was reeling him in on his leash as I approached. He looked at me like he wanted to jump on me and kiss me. He was cute. They�re both cute; they have the same face, different colors. They must be the same kind of dog. People around here really like Golden Retrievers. I wonder why. They�re cool dogs, I guess, but kind of hyper. I bet most people who get them don�t realize how hard they are to handle. People are snobs about having big dogs. They say they don�t like little dogs. Call them �drop-kick dogs.� People around here shouldn�t even have big dogs. These houses and yards aren�t built for big dogs. You need, like, a farm to have big dogs. I�m passing the pool. That means I�m always at the streetlight. When I get up here to this brick thing on the sidewalk, I can walk til I get to the stoplight.
I don�t want to push the pedestrian button yet, don�t want the �walk� signal yet, because I want to rest a little, want to catch my breath. OK, now I�ll push it. There, it�s green. I�m going to walk across the street; then I�ll start running again. This is the long hill. Get ready. It�s not really that bad. There�s a girl running toward me. She�s going downhill. She has it easy. What goes up must come down. What goes down must come up.
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
She was very cheerful. She smiled a little too big. She probably runs every morning. She was wearing long pants and a long-sleeved shirt. That�s way too much clothing for a run this time of year. She was skinny and muscular. She probably runs every day and knows that I don�t and thought I looked out of shape compared to her. I don�t look out of shape. My arms look amazing in this tank top. I�m still wearing my tank top, haven�t stripped down to my sports bra yet. I like running in the tank top better than my short-sleeved shirts. This hill is long. But it doesn�t feel as hard this morning. It�s not really that steep. I wouldn�t even notice it, probably, if I weren�t by myself. It�s so much easier to run with a partner. The miles go by so quickly, so easily.
I will have run 14 miles this week. That�s not really that many. Well, compared to zero, it is, but not compared to how many I used to run. We�ll do a longer run on Saturday, though. Maybe Sunday too. That will get my mileage up to at least 26 for the whole week. 26 � that�s a marathon. Usually I would run six miles on the weekdays, though � I�d probably log 24 miles Monday through Thursday. That�s 10 miles more than I�ve done this week. Why such a big difference? Three less on Monday and Tuesday, two less on Wednesday and Thursday � right, that adds up to 10. I should try to do six in the morning. That would mean getting up another 30 minutes earlier. One step at a time. When I get to that sign up ahead, I�ll be almost to the stoplight, where I can rest again for a minute.
I should post a message on the neighborhood message board to see if anyone would like to run with me in the mornings. Leaving between 5:30 and 6:00 weekday mornings. Three to six miles. Moderate pace. Moderate? Am I moderate? I�m kind of slow. But not really slow like out of shape people are. Nine to 10-minute miles? That�s pretty accurate. I�d want a running partner who�s my pace. Not faster, although it would be good to challenge myself. Not slower, that would get frustrating.
Here�s that sign, but there�s still a ways to go. The next sign, then. Here�s the stoplight; dang, it�s green, no rest for me. That�s probably good. I don�t really need to rest. I�m just being a wimp. Oh, it�s turning yellow, I�ll have to stop after all. I�ll walk across this street too. OK, running again. It�s downhill for a ways now. Just to that corner up ahead and then down that hill. I wonder when they�ll finish this new shopping center. They painted that building � brown, green, and maroon. Strange colors. I guess that�s popular right now, those deep colors, chocolately brown, foresty green, winey maroon. Maybe that�s where the new Pavilions will go. I wonder what other shops will go in here.
�For you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me.� OK, a church song. That�s better than the cowboy song. �For you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me.� But kind of repetitive, huh? Goes along with my footsteps as I run down this hill. I do have it good. God has been good to me. I�m lucky. I�m picking up good speed on this downhill. That�s what you do in races, make up time on the downhills. I guess these morning runs are races in a way, racing against the clock cuz I have to get back to make it to work on time. So you�re racing against something. You have a goal. I need a goal, a race I�m training for. I don�t like this exercising just for exercising�s sake. It won�t last. I won�t stay motivated. Not forever. Turn this corner and then it�s uphill. Not for too long, but uphill all the way. Oh, here�s a guy running downhill toward me, haven�t seen him before.
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
He has it easy, going downhill. But what goes down must come up. Ha. I wonder if my legs look muscular running uphill. I should be building muscle, should be losing weight. I think maybe I have a running weight and a non-running weight. If I don�t run, I won�t get below that non-running weight, no matter how many points I eat or don�t eat. That�s a lot of pressure. I�ll go to the gym today and work my legs some more. Will I do the circuit or my own weight routine? I did my own on Tuesday, should do the circuit today. No, I won�t be going to the gym today cuz I�m going to read my book for Book Club during lunch. Have to finish that book. But I won�t. I won�t finish it in time.
Here�s where I turn for the last leg home. I�ll walk across the street here, try to catch my breath. That last hill really gets me. This part is uphill too. I should start running now. I�ve walked too much during this run. Not really, though, just across the streets. If I were running with someone I wouldn�t notice the hills being so hard. I�ll start running when I get to that sign up ahead. There�s the sign. Now run. Just up this hill and around the corner and then it�s downhill and home. I wonder if B�s still home. Up ahead I can look down and see if his car�s still in front of the house. I wonder how long this run has taken me. I checked the clock when I left � 6:05. I should finish around 6:45 if I�m running 10-minute miles. Nope, B�s car is gone. Bummer. Is it silly that I�m a little disappointed not to get to say goodbye to him this morning? I might finish a little later than 6:45 because of the streetlights and the walking. Probably 6:50. Turn this corner and� oh, it�s not downhill yet. One last stretch uphill. There�s my house there below. B�s not there, but the kitchen light is on. It glows yellow. I can see into the kitchen. Can people see when it�s messy?
Now it�s downhill. Let your legs go. Pick up speed. It�s fun but a little scary. There�s my neighbor, April, on her porch outside her house. I wonder if she usually comes out this early. She hasn�t the other days this week. Oh, she�s smoking. That�s why she�s outside on the porch. Such a stupid habit.
(�Good morning.� �Good morning.�)
Did she need a cigarette so bad that she got up to smoke it outside? Or was she already up? I�m so glad I�m running and not smoking. A much better way to spend the morning.
And that was my run.
Oh, by the way, if you want to see something funny, go here: http://upchucky.com/flash-thongs.html
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004