Diaries I Read:
I�ve known my �best friend� Anne for my entire conscious life. Our moms were good friends in our old neighborhood, so Anne and I became best friends. I�m about nine months younger than she, and nine months younger is quite a bit when you�re talking two- and three-year-olds. But the age difference didn�t seem to matter much for Anne and me. Growing up, I was always a little jealous that she got to do everything first, like go to preschool and gymnastics lessons and junior high and driver�s ed. But it wasn�t long before I would catch up. In fact, I found out later (much, much later) that Anne had always been a little jealous of me because she felt like I did everything *better* than her. It�s funny when you find those kinds of things out from your best friends.
My family moved to a different city when I was almost five. It was only about 10 miles away, but that�s pretty far when you�re five. So Anne and I never went to the same schools, and we had entirely different sets of friends. But we would still see each other quite often, probably because our families were such good friends. I would spend the night there, or she would spend the night with me. We always had such a good time together. We always remained �best friends.�
Some of my most vivid memories with Anne include:
� Pooping in her backyard Jacuzzi and denying it to her mother as the little turds floated all around me (I was only about two, give me a break!)
� Going trick-or-treating together, with her dressed as a chicken and me as a duck. Or her as a bunny and me as a carrot. Or both of us as witches.
� Filling a bucket with almonds from the tree in her front yard, waiting on her little brother�s top bunk until he came into the room, and them dumping the whole bucket on him
� Hatching a plan (at about 10 and 11 years old) that we were going to raise enough money to take a trip to Hawaii (by ourselves, no less) and setting out to wash our neighbors� cars for a fee. We hauled our sponges, towels, soap, and a bucket FULL of water (geniuses!) from door to door trying to get someone to bite. No one did, except her parents.
� Practicing for our ballet recital in her family room
� Sticking our arms through each others� t-shirts from behind and applying make-up on each other, blindly (you know that game where it looks like their arms are yours but you�re all retarded-acting because you can�t see what you�re doing?)
Anyway, as the years went by, Anne and I saw less and less of each other. We went to different high schools and then different colleges in different states. But we always remained �best friends,� and it helped that our families spent holidays like Thanksgiving and Mother�s Day and Fourth of July together, so we�d get to see each other occasionally. The funny thing was that every time we got together, no matter how much time had passed, it always felt like we�d seen each other just the day before. And we had a sort of unspoken agreement that we could go for months without calling or writing, even miss each others� birthdays, and it was OK. We both understood that these lapses did not reflect a lack of love and that everything was cool.
Anne got married about seven years ago and moved to Oregon. That, combined with the simply busyness of life, meant that we saw and heard from each other even less. In fact, I get most of my news about Anne and her life from her mom, from my mom. I see her family more than I see her. But it�s OK.
This weekend, Anne was in town. Once upon a time, we�d talked about how when we grew up, we�d live next door to each other and time our children so they�d be the same age. Needless to say, that hasn�t happened. Anne has a 2 �-year-old little girl, and she has a little boy on the way! (So, as when we were toddlers, I have some catching up to do.)
We got together on Friday night and went to dinner. She is such a cute pregnant person (I never saw her when she was pregnant the first time) � one who only looks pregnant in the belly and is still skinny everywhere else.
We mostly talked about babies and family and husbands and houses and finances and jobs and all the stuff that goes with it. In a way, it was just like old times, when it felt like we hadn�t missed a day. But in another way, there was a strange sort of distance there. I could feel that we haven�t seen each other, haven�t talked in a while. I could feel that our lives are very different right now, her days at home with a toddler versus mine in a cubicle in front of a computer.
Then on Sunday, Anne, her daughter, and her mom and dad came over for dinner. Her little girl is quite a character and very smart. It was a lovely evening together. I felt her belly � the first pregnant belly I�ve ever felt! � and was surprised to find that it was squishy, spongy, not hard like I had thought. She moved my hand around so I could feel �Baby Boy� kick, but he wouldn�t do it for me.
So as much time as has passed and as different as our lives have become, and even as I begin to put quotation marks around the term �my �best friend� Anne,� not much has changed. Not really. It�s only a very special friend that just lifts up her shirt and lets you feel her pregnant belly. And it�s only a very special friend whose pregnant belly I would want to feel.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004