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Monday, Mar. 29, 2004 - 3:08 PM

One of the biggest perks about B�s job (other than being able to work in his underwear, take a nap in the middle of the day, and take three-day weekends without telling anyone) is that he has a company car. It�s nothing fancy � just a Ford Taurus � but it�s free. Not only is the car free, but so is insurance, maintenance, AND gas! It�s a really cool deal.

B has had this car for over three years now, and he�s put about 80,000 miles on it. So a couple of months ago, his company let him know that he was eligible to trade his car in for a new one.

Of course, we were excited about this news, and we took a trip to the Ford dealership to choose which color we wanted. We chose a charcoal gray, he put in his order with the company, and we waited. They said it would take a couple of weeks.

About three days after ordering the new car, we were driving down the freeway and something flew up and hit the windshield, putting one of those little crack holes in it.

Not a week later, ANOTHER little rock or something flew up and cracked the windshield. Wow, we thought, good thing we�re getting a new car soon.

Then, about a week after that, B took the car in to have the oil changed and they told him that his brakes needed work. So he left the car there for a day and they made the repairs. We commented about the irony of having the car fixed when he�s about to get a new one.

Less than two weeks later, B and another guy from his company were making some calls near Temecula (about two hours from where we live), and the car broke down. He had to take it to a mechanic immediately, and they had to rent a car to get back home. Then, when it was fixed, B and I had to drive back to pick up the car and drop off the rental (a fun way to spend your Saturday morning).

Throughout all of this, the question kept arising: �When are you supposed to get your new car?� The answer was always, �I don�t know; it should be soon.�

Last week, we started noticing a disconcerting rattling sound underneath the car. I think B mentioned a rotor or something like that. It also started leaking coolant, or some kind of fluid. B said he was going to just wait it out til the new car arrived.

This last Friday, B gave me the happy news that his new car was ready, and that he had an appointment to go pick it up on Wednesday. Yay!

So on Saturday, we happened into some tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld in Santa Barbara. Unfortunately, it was so last-minute that we couldn�t make a weekend out of it, which would have been fun. So we drove the three hours up there, enjoyed dinner on the pier, laughed throughout what was a very entertaining show, and then got in the car to head back home.

About 30 miles from home, while driving pretty fast in the carpool lane, B noticed a car, three cars in front of us, brake suddenly. He slammed on his brakes and was able to stop in time to avoid hitting any of the cars in front of us. But he could see the car behind us approaching � very quickly � in the rear-view mirror. �Slow down, slow down,� he said to himself as he watched the mirror. Then he grabbed my hand and said, �Hold on.� We braced ourselves and waited for a split second and then BAM! � the car hit us from behind.

Luckily, the car had slowed down significantly before hitting us, so it wasn�t as bad as it could have been. We didn�t hit the car in front of us. Except for a little whiplash, we both seemed to be unscathed.

A man got out of the car � a Jeep � behind us and came up to the window to ask if we were OK. I noticed that he got out of the passenger seat. The two cars in front of us left shortly thereafter � I guess since they weren�t �involved,� they didn�t want to stick around. Then I could see that the car in front appeared to have blown a tire, which explained why they stopped so fast.

There wasn�t any good way for us to move off the freeway, since we were in the far left lane, so B and this guy decided to exchange information right there. The guy explained to B that his 15-year-old daughter was actually driving the car, with her driver�s permit. (Smart � letting your unlicensed daughter drive in the carpool lane of the 405 freeway at 10:30 pm.)

Anyway, somebody must have called highway patrol, because a cop car showed up. And get this � HE CLOSED DOWN THE WHOLE SOUTHBOUND SIDE OF THE FREEWAY! For this little fender bender! I can only imagine how pissed all those people backed up behind us were!

But having the cop there did allow us to get off to the shoulder, where I felt we were much safer. The cop took a report and that was pretty much it. The damage to B�s car is mostly the bumper, which is scratched and dented and actually cracked in one part. The rest of the body seems OK, though.

But I just can�t believe our string of bad luck with this car! It seems to be falling apart before our eyes! It�s almost as if the car had feelings, and it heard that we were going to trade it in for a newer model, and, like a scorned lover, it�s acting out against us in desperation and despair!

Am I being too dramatic?

Maybe.

Still, I think we�ll drive my car til Wednesday.

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