So already I�ve fallen behind on writing in this thing. Oh well. Too bad. Nobody�s reading it anyway, I�m sure. I don�t think I have anything to write about today anyway.

I need to have a Christmas party. Not because I want to see all my friends, necessarily. Not because I want to spread Christmas cheer. Nope. Because I want to show off my Christmas decorations. Seriously. I�ve spent the past week or so decorating trees, putting up lights, looking for the perfect garland, and generally making everything look festive at my house, and if I don�t have a party no one will see it. I wish I could leave my decorations up all the time because I like the way my house looks much more when it�s decorated for Christmas.

I�m torn right now between wanting to propose a new project to my boss because I think it�s a good idea and I�m bored, and not wanting to because then I�ll actually have something to do here at work other than sitting around dreaming of stuff to write about. There�s something to be said for being busy at work, but not too busy like we were for several months because that just makes you crazy. But not having enough to do just makes the day drag on and on and on.

We played softball last night. We lost. We�re not doing too well this season. So far we�ve lost three of our four games. I played well last night, though. I scored two runs and I hit the ball every time I was up. I got robbed at first one time; I was totally safe and I think the first baseman knew it, but who�s gonna argue with a call in your favor? Our umpire is about 100 years old. No, he�s probably about 75. He must weigh 200 pounds and he�s missing a few teeth and his legs don�t bend very well. It takes him about five full minutes to bend down and pick up a ball or brush off the plate. And you don�t argue with him. That�s a bad idea. If he says you�re out, you�re out. He says he�s been umping for like 44 years or something. He was on his way to the big leagues when he got called to Vietnam. So I suppose we shouldn�t be disrespectful; he�s been through a whole lot more than any of us. But I swear, he makes some backwards calls.

So our two friends who had the fight on Friday night are back together. I can�t say I�m happy to hear that; they should not be together and she�s only asking for heartache. But who am I to talk? I feel like I can�t give relationship advice anymore now that I�m happily married. It�s like I can�t possibly understand loneliness or breakups. Well, believe me, I can. But it sounds so lame now for me to tell somebody not to worry about it, that the perfect guy will come along. Or don�t settle for anything less than what you really want and need in a relationship. I remember happily married people (HMPs) telling me crap like that before and it was really infuriating. I suppose maybe you lose the right to give single people advice once you�re a HMP. OK, I can deal with that. It�s a small price to pay for HMP status. I like that acronym.

Speaking of HMPs, or not-so-HMPs, I heard on the radio yesterday that Wolfgang Puck and his wife split up after 20 years of marriage. Now, I don�t really care about Wolfgang Puck � I�ve never even been to one of his restaurants � but I just don�t understand people splitting up after being married that long. Of course, if it�s never been a good relationship then it makes sense. But he said that they had 20 really good years, and that�s just all there was. I don�t understand. If you have 20 good years, how can you just leave that behind? Maybe he was lying about them being good; I don�t know. But it�s a really scary idea to me. I mean, is it possible that everything could be running really smoothly and you love each other and everything, and then one day after 20 years you just wake up and say to the person you�ve been waking up next to forever that it�s over? That you had a great run but now that�s it? What a nightmare.

What would have to be a worse nightmare is the person you�ve been with for however many years suddenly turns to you and says they don�t love you anymore. That happened to someone I know. They�d been married for a really long time and one night she said to him, �Honey, how come you never say �I love you� anymore?� And he says, �Because I don�t.� And that was it. I don�t think I�d survive something like that.

The most recent issue between B and I is that he�s going to a bachelor party next weekend. I absolutely hate bachelor parties. I think they�re a terrible idea, a terrible tradition. Anyways, he�s flying out to New Orleans to meet up with a bunch of his buddies, and who knows what they�re going to do. Well, what he says they�re going to do is drink. Hmmmm. Drinking is fine. But seeing strippers and dancers and whatnot is not fine. To me, it�s unacceptable. Yes, even at a bachelor party. To me, it�s a form of infidelity; it�s cheating. But B knows that. He�s promised me he�s not going to do any of that stuff, that he�s not even interested in it. And I believe him. I trust him. I do not, however, trust his friends. Especially the one who�s getting married. He used to date strippers. He was even engaged to one once. (How he found this really neat girl that he�s marrying is beyond me; he�d better not screw it up because she�s absolutely the best he�s ever going to do for himself.) So I do not trust him. But I asked B what he�d do if all the other guys wanted to go to a strip bar and he said he�d go back to the hotel and go to sleep. He said one of the other guys would, too. So I guess I don�t have any choice but to believe him. I don�t want to bug him about it anymore because I figure that will probably backfire on me. You don�t want to make them feel like you�re not going to believe them no matter what they do. Because then they may as well just go do it.

I hate the fact that there are such sleazy women out there who are willing to strip and whatnot. You almost can�t even blame the guys for it. Of course, if naked girls weren�t in such high demand the girls wouldn�t do it. But I think the women are just as much to blame. If there weren�t sluts out there willing to take their clothes off, then it wouldn�t be an issue. Why can�t women respect themselves and womankind and leave their clothes on? Why can�t they respect men and their relationships enough not to sabotage them by encouraging infidelity? You know those �Girls Gone Wild� videos? Oooh, I hate those. The ads make me cringe. But they�re a perfect example. There are hundreds and hundreds of young women out there showing their boobs and who knows what else just because someone gives them the opportunity. Come on, now, have some class. Have some self-respect. You are doing all women a disservice by your actions and you are perpetuating the belief that it�s OK. It�s absolutely not OK.

Don�t just think I�m a prude. Whatever you want to do behind closed doors is fine with me. Just keep it private. Keep it to yourselves. You�re ruining sex for all of us.

Wow. I�ll just step down from my high horse right now. Oh, but very few things get me so riled up. See, I told you I was a jealous type. I didn�t even realize it until I met B. Actually, I think it�s a control thing as much as anything else.

Hmm, do I have anything else to say today? My boss just came by and gave me the most boring project in the world. I guess I should have proposed the one I was thinking of. I swear, this job bores me to tears. I really have to find something new.

Signing off�bzzzzzzz.

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Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004

Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004

On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004

A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004

Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004