Diaries I Read:
Wanna hear something weird? Sometimes when I see a nice little condominium or apartment complex, I get this little pang of desire, and I find myself almost wishing that I lived in a place like that.
The thing is, I live in a beautiful house. It has more room than we need (right now), a nice backyard, a huge kitchen, crown molding, walk-in closets � the works. So why would I even think of wishing I lived in a little apartment or condo?
I guess it�s because I never really had a place of my own. Sure, I lived in apartments with roommates during college, but then I moved back home to my parents� house and lived there until I got married and moved in with B. So I missed that whole stage where you have your very own place where you live your very own life.
I certainly wouldn�t trade in what I have. I love being married and I love my home and I feel VERY fortunate for both. I�m not ungrateful. It�s just that sometimes I wonder what I missed out on. Sometimes I see those little homes and I can picture the cheap furniture I�d have filled it with and the pictures I�d have hung on the walls and the independent, single-girl life I�d have lived there.
The truth is, though, I know myself too well, and I know that if I�d ever lived like that I probably would have been lonely and miserable and would have complained about my situation constantly. I know B lived in several condos by himself and was dying to buy his own home. But still. I�m just saying.
*****
I have the cutest toenails in the world. They are French manicured, traditional pink and white, and then each toe has a little tiny red flower on it with a black center. The big toes have two little flowers and some dots. They are very, very cute.
Have I ever told you about my retarded toe? Well, I have one. It�s very odd, and I�ve never seen anybody with a toe quite like mine. See, the middle one is shorter than all the rest. Well, here you go. A picture is worth a thousand words.
(That picture was taken at work when several of us had gotten cute pedicures. I don�t know why my toes are spread so wide like that. It makes it look even weirder! By the way, the toes on my right foot aren�t quite as bad as those on the left. But they�re still not quite right � the middle toe is pretty much the same length as the fourth toe.)
Whenever I get my toes done, I always wonder what the pedicurist is thinking when she sees that toe. None of them has ever said anything about it to me. None has ever asked why it�s like that. I don�t know why it�s like that. Nobody in my family has it. And I don�t think it was always that way � my baby footprint doesn�t look retarded like that. Oh well, it makes me special.
*****
I saw The Notebook last night. Totally a chick flick. Totally good. I loved it. BUT, there were a couple of teenaged girls sitting next to me � probably about 14 years old or so � and they were obnoxious, talking and whispering through the whole thing. They�d make really stupid comments like �That�s so CUTE!� in parts of the movie that so were NOT �cute.� Then, the one next to me started crying. At first I thought she had to be goofing around, because nobody really cries like that at a movie, but she was really crying. Anyway, she SOBBED for about the last 40 minutes of the movie. Sniffling and gasping and bawling.
And everybody in the theatre was sobbing at the end of the movie. It WAS sad, and I really enjoyed it, but strangely enough I wasn�t crying. I think I may have been the only one. Am I becoming heartless and un-sentimental?
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004