Diaries I Read:
This morning I reached for some pants that, a few weeks ago, had felt tight. Not so tight that they were uncomfortable, but tight enough that I didn�t feel good about myself in them. The last time I put them on, I decided to change into a different pair of pants. But I figured they�d fit much better now since I�ve lost a few pounds over the past couple of weeks.
I put them on and, yes, they fit a little bit better than they did before. A little bit. But they weren�t as loose as I�d expected them to be. They weren�t as loose as when I bought them. But I wore them anyway.
Then, I walked into work and there was my co-worker who�s been doing the Lindora diet. (She says she�s only lost two pounds but her clothes fit MUCH better, so she thinks her body has changed more than the two pounds suggest.) Anyway, there she is in this slinky little dress and knee-high, high-heeled black boots. Frankly, the outfit was a little inappropriate for work in my book, but that�s not the point. She looked great. She looked much better than I�d ever thought she could. I thought, �Two pounds and she looks like that?! What the �?� And suddenly, I felt like my pants were even tighter. I felt like a big fatty.
Thinking about weighing myself this afternoon, I wasn�t very optimistic. After all, last week�s one pound had been pretty disappointing. And I probably ate more than I was supposed to this weekend (It wasn�t my fault � we went to a very fancy, very expensive restaurant on Friday with one of B�s clients, and while I got a sensible salmon dish, I know it probably went over my allotted points for the day, especially since I also had two glasses of wine and some chocolate cake. Then on Saturday, we had dinner with some friends, and on Sunday, my mom had fixed a nice turkey dinner for the family. Each time, I ate minimally throughout the day to make up for the dinners, but I don�t think you can compensate for that many points.)
And frankly, I just didn�t feel like I�d lost any weight as I headed toward the scales today. Maybe it�s because it�s that time of the month. (Or at least it�s supposed to be. Just like my pregnancy scare in January, it�s Wednesday � the third day on my inactive pill � and I still haven�t started my period. If I skip it again this time, that will make at least four months without a period � I think I may have to call my doctor. In fact, right before my surgery last week, the nurse asked when my last cycle had been and when I told her, she almost insisted that I take a pregnancy test before they administered my anesthesia. In the end, after much insistence on my part, they didn�t make me do it.) I do feel a teeny bit crampy, so I figured maybe I�m bloated too.
All of these things considered, I really wasn�t all that hopeful as I stepped on the scale. I even started out with the lever a couple of pounds over what I�d weighed last week, just to be safe. Too heavy. I moved it down a pound. Still too heavy. I moved it down again. I�ve lost another 1 � pounds! Yay! I was very pleased.
Why does this 1 � pounds feel so much better than last week�s one pound? Who knows? Maybe just because I didn�t have such high expectations. At least I�m still losing. I�ve lost 6 � pounds in just over three weeks. And during that time, I had a death in the family, a trip, and surgery. That�s pretty good, if I do say so myself.
Oh yeah, today there was a birthday in the office and they were serving ice cream cake, which is one of my favorites. I�m very proud to report that I did not have any cake. I just sang �Happy Birthday� and smiled.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004