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Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004 - 5:05 PM

We�re going to our first puppy school class tonight. It�s about six months overdue, at the very least. Dixie doesn�t come with us tonight; it�s just an introduction class for the �parents.�

I�ve been to obedience school before, with my parents� dog, so I know what to expect. What I expect tonight is the speech that �there are no bad dogs, only bad owners.� No arguments here.

Keeping in mind that WE are the ones to blame, here is a list of �bad� things Dixie does:

� Poops on the floor

� Pees on the floor

� Jumps on our table and/or countertops whenever we�re not looking and there�s anything tempting on them (e.g. the cat, a plate of brownies, a sparkly decorative apple�)

� Runs across the street (if she didn�t do this, I might be able to handle all her other bad habits)

� Tears up Kleenex, Q-tips, paper towels, etc.

� Chews up shoes

� Shreds books

� Ignores us when we call her

� Ignores us when we tell her to stay

� Barks at people outside our house

Now, she doesn�t do ALL of these things ALL the time. She hasn�t destroyed a book for at least two months. Ditto for the shoes. But that�s basically because she�s continually proven herself to be entirely untrustworthy, so any time we leave the house, we put her in her crate.

We don�t like putting her in her crate (especially because now she has begun running away from us and hiding � under tables, under the bed, etc. � whenever she knows we�re getting ready to leave), but we don�t have a choice. We�ve given her many chances, and she�s blown it.

(It�s not that she really even minds the crate. Once she�s in there, she�s fine. We kept her crated a lot when she was a really young puppy, so she�s used to it. We�re really not cruel parents!)

Anyway, I�m sure this will be the beginning of a great adventure. I really hope she�ll be a good student. I don�t want to be the parent of the flunkie!

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