Diaries I Read:
I�m getting a little bummed out about Christmas this year.
More specifically, I�m disappointed in my family�s attitude toward Christmas this year.
See, this year I have to spend Christmas in Houston with B�s family. That was our agreement at the beginning � we�d alternate between our families for the holidays. Last year, we had Thanksgiving in Texas and Christmas here, so this year we had Thanksgiving here and that means Christmas is there. I support the arrangement in theory � it really is the only fair way to do it. But now that Christmas is coming, I don�t like it at all.
But actually, I had been thinking that it might not be so bad after all since we�d still do Christmas with my family, just not on December 25. I guess I hadn�t thought it through completely, but I just assumed my family would be willing to postpone the bulk of their Christmas activities until I was around to share it with them.
Christmas in my family is a really big deal. I�m sure it�s a big deal in most families, but what I mean is WE REALLY DO CHRISTMAS BIG. It�s actually gotten sort of ridiculous. I don�t know when it all started, but it seems like our Christmases have just kept growing and growing and growing over the years. I mean, when we come downstairs on Christmas morning, there are PILES of gifts. They won�t fit under the tree. They�re just stacked all over the place. Our stockings are so stuffed that they�re overflowing, and there are even little piles of gifts around each stocking, too. Every year we tell each other that we�re not going to get so carried away this time, but every year we do it again. In fact, it almost seems to be getting bigger!
Opening Christmas gifts on Christmas morning is an all-day event. We open them one at a time, making sure that everyone has seen what we got and knows who it was from. It literally takes hours and hours. One year, it took so long that we had to take a break in the middle.
So I guess I was hoping that my family would wait til I got back to do the Christmas morning gift-opening ritual. Of course, I expected that they�d open a few gifts on Christmas Day, but I thought they�d want to have me there and make it feel as much like our traditional Christmas as possible.
That was until the other night when my brother spoke up: �We are NOT waiting to open our presents just because you�re not there.�
I was a little taken aback, and asked why not.
My dad answers, �Because Christmas is Christmas. That�s the day we do it.�
�We waited that one year when Mom wasn�t here,� I say. (She had to be in New York for a funeral.)
Dad: �That was different.�
�Why?�
Dad: �Because that was a one-time thing.�
Brother: �Yeah, we�re not going to wait for you and have Christmas late every other year.�
My mom kept interjecting and assuring me that we�d still have all of our gifts to each other to open when I got back, and that we�d have a nice Christmas dinner and a wonderful Christmas together.
And she�s probably right. And I sort of understand what my dad and my brother were saying. But as I thought about it more, I became more and more disappointed and more and more hurt.
I mean, is it more important to them that we celebrate Christmas on a certain day on the calendar than that we celebrate it together? I felt like they cared more about the date than me. It�s just the three of them � it�s not like a couple of days will really make all that much difference.
So I�m getting a little bummed out about Christmas. It�s just not going to be the same. At all.
B�s family doesn�t do Christmas the right way, as far as I�m concerned. They don�t go to the 11:00 candlelight service on Christmas Eve. They don�t open their gifts one at a time so you can see what everyone gets and see their reaction when they open their gift from you � they just all tear into them at once, and it�s like 10 minutes of chaos and then it�s over. (I know because B filmed it the year before last.)
And we�ve drawn names between B�s siblings (he has two sisters and a brother) and their spouses. That�s actually a good idea since none of us could afford to get everyone and their spouse something nice. But guess what everyone put on their wish lists (myself included)? Gift certificates. BOOOORRRRRRRRRING! That�s gonna make for a really exciting gift exchange when everyone opens their � envelopes.
I don�t know what else B does for Christmas. My family goes to my aunt�s house for dinner and dessert, and we sit around chatting and open a couple more gifts. I don�t know what to expect this year.
I need to change my attitude around. It�s not fair to B if I�m pouty over not having Christmas my way this year. And I do have B and that�s all that really matters. I know my mom will make sure that our Christmas celebration together will be a special time.
But dude, my dad and my brother kinda suck.
Working at home - Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2004
Toronto - Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004
On the way to Toronto... - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
A Good Day - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
Another letter - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004